Brother can you spare a dime - Part 2

Not too long ago I was moderating a session on direct mail at the Success in Fundraising Workshop for the Quad Cities Chapter of the Association of Fundraising Professionals. At one point the discussion turned to the topic of solicitation letters. I made a statement that was, perhaps, too broad. “It’s not about you.”

Speaking in the institutional voice is a weakness I see in many fundraising letters. The executive director will cite statistics and the awards the organization may have won. Some letters do quote the organization’s mission statement but often in techno-speak. The “ask” may then be grounded in numbers and not the story.

You have a story – tell it.

The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation’s “65 Roses®” letter is one of the most successful in the history of direct mail fundraising. It has raised millions and has remained unchanged for over 20 years. It begins with the headline, “’65 Roses®…’ Why do children give such a beautiful name to such an ugly disease?” This is followed by the opening three paragraphs:

“ ‘65 Roses’ is what little children suffering from cystic fibrosis often call their disease.

The words are much easier for children to pronounce, but making it easier to say doesn’t make it any easier to live with…

I know this from personal experience. One of my children died from cystic fibrosis – and she was only eight years old.”

Aren’t you already reaching for your checkbook? A parent who lost a child is telling his story.

Only two statistics are presented in the letter.

“More than 10 million Americans are unknowing, symptomless carriers of the defective gene that causes cystic fibrosis.”

And

“When the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation was created in 1955, few children with cystic fibrosis lived long enough to attend elementary school. Today, because of Foundation-supported research and care (Writer’s note – Please notice they did not say, “because of us” – they’re giving credit elsewhere), patients are living to predicted median age of 37.”

You’re writing out an amount because CFF is helping hard working researchers help parents like the writer have their children in their lives longer.

The preamble to the “65 Roses®” ask is, “A cure for cystic fibrosis is within our grasp. But, it’s simply a matter of time and money. The faster we can provide funds for scientific research, the faster we’ll see a cure.” Then, the close – “Your gift will be a beautiful way to help children and young adults fight an ugly disease.”

The signature is the final touch.

“Sincerely,

Frank Deford

Parent and Past Chairman”

Not the executive director – a parent who has felt the heartbreak of losing a child (in this case also a celebrity).

The bottom line – tell the story of the people the donor will help – NOT YOU.

Message me or email me at dmsolutions4u@live.com and I will give you a FREE analysis of your current solicitation letter. Contact me also if you want the full text of the “65 Roses®” letter.